I warned you

I did, didn't I? I told you that I might be getting a little religious, and here I go. I haven't historically written much in the way of personal thoughts and (dare I say the word?) feelings, but I'm gonna.

Right now, as a matter of fact.

A couple of letters I've written lately prepared me for this post, and I feel like I have no choice but to write it. So here goes.

This morning, the Lord woke me up early.

And by that, I mean that Brady was screaming for a drink from the top bunk at 5:15.

And that screaming woke Max.

It took me about 15 minutes to get them both back down. Brady was easy enough, but Max took a little cuddling, which I've learned to enjoy, no matter what the hour.

But by the time I got back into bed at 5:30, I knew He wouldn't let me rest easily. I knew He was calling me to my kitchen table. To my Bible. To Him.

So after another 15 minutes of trying to convince God that I'd have plenty of time to talk to Him later, that right now, sleep was more important, I got out of bed, made a pot of coffee, and sat down to listen.

My sister-in-law, Sara, told me recently that she's adopted the philosophy that if she hears something three times from three different places, she listens particularly close because it's usually God speaking to her.

If this holds true, then God has been shouting at me lately.

Here's what He's been saying: He knows my name.

I know. Seems simple, right?

But in this season of my life, I've discovered, for the first time, that He loves ME. Not we, the people. Not we, the church. But ME, Amy.

He knows me and loves me in a deeper way than I can even imagine, though I catch glimpses of it at 5:15 a.m. when my almost-two-year-old snuggles into me.

In Exodus 33, God tells Moses that He knows Moses by name. And then he lets Moses see His glory. I've always been fascinated by this story. I'm such a visual person, and I wonder what Moses actually saw. It used to frustrate me that God only allowed Moses to see Him from behind. I mean, really, who is He to tell me that I can't see ALL of Him?

Um, God, that's who.

He loves me so much and longs to meet me face to face. But He knows what I'm ready to see. He reveals little bits and pieces of Himself to me every day.

When I believe that He's holding back from me, Satan wins.

My God, Creator of the Universe, knows my name. HE LOVES ME.

And He woke me up early this morning just to tell me so.

We got rhythm

So dinner at our house was actually very fun tonight. We laughed and talked and for a half-hour (because that's about as long as it takes for the boys to eat their single bite of everything on their plates), our evening was just what I always imagined life with four kids would be.

Almost.

I don't remember how it got started. But Andy started banging on the table, clapping his hands and singing "We will, we will rock you..." You know the tune, right? So of course, Blake joins in. Then Brady, despite having fever and feeling crummy, found great delight in being one of the "big boys". And then, of course, because Brady can't do anything without his personal copycat mimicking his every move, Max started in, too, laughing maniacally the entire time.

Sydney and I just stared with our mouths hanging open. We are so outnumbered around here. And neither of us bothered to remind the boys about the "no singing at the table" rule.

The good news is that all three boys show excellent rhythmic talent.

Good thing they now make electronic drum sets with headphones. It doesn't matter what they cost. The day one of them says they want to play the drums, I'm so buying one.

Feast or Famine

That pretty much sums up my blogging life. I hit a stretch of pretty regular blogging, and then go for weeks without a word.

Not that anyone really reads this, but I'd like to journal for the benefit of my own memory.

I'm gearing up for another feast, so if anyone is reading this, check back soon and often. I have all kinds of things to say about Blake's soccer season, Max turning two, Sydney's talent show audition, and Brady's potty training adventures.

I'm also toying with the idea of stepping outside the usual "blogging about kids only" to talk about a few things the Lord has written on my heart lately. He has revealed Himself in big ways to me these past few months, and I might explode if I don't get it down in writing.

So there's lots brewing inside my head. I'm making a commitment to write 30 mins. per day. We'll see how that translates into actual posts.

Peace out, y'all.